I mentioned in the last post that I have an older sibling who covers her ears and rudely walks away when our 80+ year-old mother asks her to take her grocery shopping. (It’s not that my sibling can’t; she has two cars and often goes out on her own driving one of those vehicles. And because she has an extra vehicle, I had to follow up with the building manager about getting that extra parking space — it’s $25 per month but there was no extra parking space available when I first brought the property, and I kept following up until that extra space finally became available. I did not receive a word of thanks from my sibling.) 

And because I need to pay for the mortgage, I have been working 6 days a week (sometimes 7). (On a side note, even my mortgage broker seems to think I’m not ambitious enough as he thinks I should be working even more without truly understanding that I work many hours a week and I’m not a machine/robot. It’s to “get ahead,” in his words.)

So, on the one half-day (Monday morning) that I am not at work, my mother asks me to take her grocery shopping. Am I supposed to say no? Of course I take her, and this is after being physically and mentally tired from working that many hours daily. 

But my older sibling (and, to some extent, my boss) doesn’t appreciate that and labeled me a mama’s boy. Wait, what?! 

Now, to be clear, I’m not the type of person who will throw people out (although I can see most people that I do know will do that to my older sibling). I just expect more respect. 

I expect cordialness.

But my older sibling is the type of person who gives people the silent treatment when she thinks you’ve pissed her off. Hmm. I see. Well, my older sibling is essentially living for free and yet isn’t thankful. When she does talk to us, it’s complain about one thing after another. 

But at the moment (today is Christmas Day 2022*, and my older sibling hasn’t talked to me for weeks, a silent treatment/passive aggressive type of behaviour which started shortly after I lent her that money which she kept begging me to lend her), once again, instead of being cordial and friendly, she has decided to revert to the type of behaviour which is appalling. 

*Think about that again one more time. It is Christmas, and my sibling shows no sign of thanks for living in my home for free and believes it is perfectly fine to ignore me like I do not exist. Think about that one again.

Again, I stress that she doesn’t pay rent (yes, she gave me a cheque for this month, the first full month she is staying here, but she promptly then borrowed money from me which was several hundred dollars higher than the rent amount). 

She’s the OLDER sibling, meaning one would reasonably expect her to be more responsible.

Somehow, in people’s eyes, I’m the villain here. Okay, I see. 

(On a side note, regarding responsibility: I recently found out from a student that one of the teachers at our school does not respond to the school admin’s texts regarding scheduling until the next day, which I didn’t realize you’re allowed to do. I almost always respond within an hour, if not sooner. I guess I should learn from others and not be that responsible, huh? This information was revealed in a conversation between that student and the school admin in my classroom while I was sitting in there, and the context of that conversation suggests that teacher’s action is inconvenient for the school.)

And my sibling rudely mocked me for buying a lot of fast food and junk food, even though she is aware (because I’ve mentioned it) that I often work 10-11 hours a day on weekdays and often don’t have a lot of time to have a proper meal (although I do not eat that food every day). Or maybe she isn’t aware because she doesn’t want to listen when I explain that I work 10-11 hours a day. 

That brings me to this next point: Whenever people tell me “I don’t care” or “Nobody cares” when I want to make a point, I find that to be disrespectful. Many times people say that when they asked me something and I give them an answer, and their response is that. 

I see authors write online that they get emotional support from their family during their writing process. The only things that I’ve heard from my older sibling is “Borrrrrrrring!” when I casually bring up I’ve published a new book. So, I don’t even talk about it anymore. 

She was supposed to move out of her rented house by Nov. 1, 2022, but she wasn’t ready. The landlord, whom she refers to as an “asshole” and whom she wishes would just die, said that if she’s staying beyond Nov. 1, then pay $1,000 for the next 10 days. Do you know who paid that $1,000? That would be me. 

When she still wasn’t ready yet (because she had accumulated a lot of possessions over the years), I suggested “putting more money in the landlord’s pocket to make him let you stay longer,” she scoffed that it was an idiotic idea. She even told that to my boss, whom I had introduced to her. (And oh, I am aware of the fact that my older sibling has written bad cheques recently — yes, plural — when paying rent. She was supposed to pay cash to the landlord but almost always wrote post-dated cheques and several of them bounced over the past few years.)

So, once again I’m the bad guy, the idiotic and stupid guy, despite the fact that I was actively thinking of solutions. My boss insisted she wanted to help, so I said to my boss, “I would like you to help my sibling to be more humble,” because of the fact that they talked to each other and my boss is an educator as well as a mother, so I thought that she could relate to my sibling in a way that nobody else around me could. 

But anyway, I’m a bad guy, a loser, and an idiot/stupid person even though I’ve done my best to help my family members.

My mother tells me not to argue with my sibling because it’s not my sibling’s fault; it’s just that she’s been possessed by evil demons and spirits that are controlling her actions. 

Well, I actually don’t have time to argue; I work 10-11 hours a day (which my boss has told me not to talk about), and I need my rest. I haven’t been able to write. I just expected to be treated with respect for all that I have done. 

But, like, whoever taught my sibling that it’s okay to ignore people if you don’t want to talk to them… whether it’s her friends or peers or my boss who gave her this ridiculous and irresponsible idea… let’s consider that my sibling is living under my roof, doesn’t pay rent (I have a mortgage to pay, which seems to have escaped my sibling and my boss), and thinks it’s okay to ignore me and be disrespectful to me? 

I’m really not sure my sibling’s attitude and behaviour make any sense. I am not sure what her point is. If she thinks she’s better than my mother and me (by choosing not to talk to us regularly), if she feels she’s superior and we are stupid low-lives, stupid losers, then why doesn’t she purchase her own property and live on her own? Or go rent an expensive apartment where she can have all the space she wants?

By her own admission, she’s told her friends before what losers my mother and I are. 

Yup. I am a loser. 

What a great life, huh?