Category Archives: Lessons Learned

My bosses told me to lie

The other day, I mentioned that the boss at the afternoon school that I help out at didn’t allow me to take time off while others were allowed to go to Guatemala and San Diego.

Of course, there were times when I simply said that I needed an afternoon off and that was notified well in advance. One such situation was a Wednesday evening, when I normally had an online session with a student named SM. I informed the school that I needed that day off because there was a makeup hockey game that I was going to broadcast. It was a makeup game, and I had no control over that time, and I gave a one-week notice.

Sure enough, that day came, and I was getting ready to head to the hockey rink for the game. Suddenly, I received some text messages from the school saying the student SM was waiting for me. I replied reminding the boss that I had asked for that day off. I was then instructed to, the next time that I had a lesson with SM, to say that I was “sick” and could not make it.

What? I was doing something that I enjoyed — broadcasting a hockey game — and certainly something that I should be proud of sharing, but I was instructed to tell the student that I was “sick” and couldn’t do that class. That was the excuse the school came up with — I was “sick” — and I was told to lie to the student to keep the story straight. I was instructed to keep my hockey broadcasting a hidden secret. I was told to lie, plain and simple.

Another time, I had a student named A who himself was a student athlete and sometimes missed classes due to soccer. That was fine, except his mother instructed the school to let A read historical novels in our lessons — but to NOT LET THE STUDENT KNOW IT WAS HIS MOTHER’S IDEA. My boss told me NOT TO SAY THAT IT WAS HIS MOTHER’S IDEA. I’m not sure why that would be the case, but I was given the title of a historical novel to assign to the student. When the class suddenly changes like that, I feel that I need to explain it to the student instead of just acting like it is random. So, I simply stated to the student in class that I was asked to assign this novel. I went over my expectations of the assigned readings and what we would be doing. I reiterated it wasn’t my idea but I was asked to assign it. The student figured out who was behind this…but anyway, this was another instance when I was asked to lie.

Shame on me….a few weeks ago on a Friday, I was enjoying a meal in the afternoon at the local mall food court. Suddenly, I received a phone call from the school’s management staff begging me to head over to the school to handle a class. I had not been informed beforehand that I was needed that day and was therefore enjoying a meal at the mall food court. I should have just “lied” and said I was “sick.” However, being the loyal person that I am, I finished off my meal and took an Uber — in rush-hour traffic — to get there. I was needed for only 1.5 hours. It was a waste of my time and very inconsiderate of the school to do that. Yet I helped out. The school clearly did not — and does not — appreciate my efforts and treated me like I could be taken advantage of, to be taken granted for…when they needed something from me.

These words are here to stay… Facts…

So, you wonder why people don’t communicate effectively. I have a policy of leaving my door open and that’s a symbol that people can come and talk to me.

I was asked back in August to provide my availability for September to a place that I help out at. I submitted it. I was not given a courtesy email or phone call about scheduling. Long story short, I just happened to be logged into my Zoom one evening and a student came on. I had not been notified beforehand but I took the lesson on. Anyway, no further communication came for subsequent weeks for the rest of the month.

Now, let’s get serious here. When I run my classes, I actually plan out lessons, which is not something that everybody does. In fact, I was asked a few times to pass on my lesson plans to unprepared instructors at the facility.

For several months in the past, I negotiated with the students in my morning school to end classes half an hour early (with the agreement that those students receive 30 minutes’ worth of homework for the early dismissals) — so that I could commute via a Lyft/Uber to the evening school in time to help out there.

I did not truly receive any praise or recognition for doing that.

In fact, it feels like I’m being talked to only when people want something from me. I’ve communicated this before to the people in charge — I expected to be treated like a Patrick Roy or an Ed Belfour… people who were deemed to be egotistical and who, as the perception was, expected to be pampered and treated like a superstar. And why not? I plan out lessons. I take a Lyft/Uber after ending class early in morning school just to make it in time for the evening facility. What? Am I stupid for making the effort?

I’ve even communicated the fact that I would like to be talked to. I even showed a video clip of the final episode of “Unhappily Ever After” where Floppy Bunny “dies” after he is ignored. The male instructors there don’t say hi. You’d say hello to them and they just glare at you and go about their own business. (So, I just stopped saying hello because fellow instructors don’t want to talk.) The leaders there would rather chitchat and laugh at jokes and joke around instead of updating me on scheduling. There were times where literally every week there was miscommunication and/or errors on my schedule. Wrong times. Showing up when there were no classes. One winter later afternoon (January) I showed up because I was scheduled, only to find out there actually was not any class. So, I left, but the number of mistakes with scheduling happened so frequently.

I would arrive early and sit in my assigned classroom and be there with the door open for quite a bit of time. Nobody would come in and talk. They were always busy chitchatting and joking around. Then when the class started, one of them came in to ask me what teams I was “betting” on that day. I was annoyed but I said Boston. I was told to “put 200 bucks down on that” and it distracted me from what I was doing.

When I requested time off, I was told it was impossible. Yet I later found out that another instructor was allowed to leave for Guatemala for 10 days on a missionary trip. Another one was given permission to travel to San Diego. I was not allowed the time off that I had requested. (And, as mentioned, I wasn’t given the courtesy of any notice/update for the current month of September.)

And one day I was literally sitting in the room when one of the leaders was talking to a student, and the two of them were saying that one instructor had a habit of not responding to texts or calls until the next day. So, I saw that as something that we were all allowed to do. After all, again, am I stupid for always responding promptly? Another time I was told that when I mark people’s essays, I do a thorough job that others don’t do…which doesn’t make me feel good since I do what an instructor is expected to do while others (apparently) cut corners and are preferred over me.

One of the worst things is that since COVID19 happened, I had been afraid of Asian hate crimes. That’s a legitimate concern. Yet whenever I’ve raised that concern, I’m laughed at and told not to worry about that. In my opinion, when one goes about not thinking about something like that, that’s when you let your guard down and something *might* happen. It’s a legitimate concern….so much so that I’d virtually stopped taking public transit. I take Uber/Lyft to get there.

Okay, you could make the case that that’s my problem. However, what if I raise concerns about matters related to the business? For instance, when I specifically said that whoever had posted on the social media site that the person had made a bunch of typos and grammatical errors (which looks bad for a school and the posts themselves were “teaching” grammatical/writing points), nothing was done about it.

I mean, what’s going on here?

My sibling continues to be an ungrateful jerk

My sibling continues to be an ungrateful jerk.

Nothing new here.

This week, because I’m a kind person who likes sharing (and because my sibling keeps asking me to do so), I gave $192.31 worth of investment profit to my sibling on Tuesday. I gave $115.20 worth of investment profit to my sibling on Wednesday.

This is even though my sibling has not paid rent this month (I am solely responsible for the mortgage at my place and my sibling is living here).

This is even though my sibling does not contribute anything to my smart investments. (ie. no funding, no research/knowledge)

When the building management sent out a memo saying there are rats/mice in the building, I got mouse traps. I set the mouse traps. When the mouse traps caught some mice, my sibling does not contribute by disposing of the mice but complains that nobody is doing that (without stopping to think that my sibling never contributed to anything).

Then this Thursday, my sibling came to me and started saying our mother is an idiot for not understanding how to do her taxes. I had just come home at 9:45pm after having left home at 9:05am for work. I had not been home for more than 12 hours and one of the first things my sibling wants to do is complain, complain, complain.

I told my sibling to stop because I had no idea about taxes. I repeated I had no idea, no idea, no idea, no idea. Keep in mind I had just come home after more than 12 hours of work.

But of course, my sibling becomes offended and storms off. And it’s back to my sibling’s old ways. Yeah, of course when my own boss supports that kind of attitude and behaviour, that sort of behaviour and attitude will continue.

Instead of helping out and contributing, my sibling just wants to be an ungrateful jerk. Interesting that my boss, who is supposed to be an educator and is herself a mother and daughter, endorses this sort of attitude.

Wait…isn’t that…?

There have been people who’ve asked, “Wait, isn’t what you’re doing gambling or betting?” Or: “How’s your betting today?

Well, I don’t consider this gambling or betting. I read scouting reports when I’m sitting inside an Uber and when I have a couple moments to do research. I look at trends and statistics. I look at patterns. Heck, when a game is on (doesn’t matter whether it’s basketball, football, hockey, or baseball), the “betting” lines are prominently shown on the screen and analysts even give their picks before the game about whether or not Jayson Tatum (or whoever) will get X number of points or assists in the game that the network is about to show.

But a lot of research goes into it before making specific investments.

It’s not the same as what people do at the casino — one Uber driver told me recently that he picks up passengers from the casino all the time, and one passenger apparently told the driver that he’d lost $20,000 gambling that one night.

No, I am doing smart investing.

I need to do so to finance things around me. For instance, I have a mortgage to pay every month, and my sibling has chosen to live with me on the property but is paying well below market value. And this month (today is the 7th of April as I’m typing this) my sibling hasn’t paid this current month’s rent money yet. The funny thing is my sibling has actually asked me for a loan this month so that the (below-market value) rent can be paid to me.*

What the heck is that?

Well, I am employed and I am kept busy at work, but this smart investment helps to pay for many expenses, that’s for sure.

Hey, it will even come in handy if my sibling (who’s older than me) decides to stop paying (below-market value) rent altogether. When one of your own bosses plants this idea into your sibling’s head (jokingly or not) — my boss’s exact words to my sibling were, “If K.P. bullies you, don’t pay him any rent!” — well, you never know.

*Speaking of “funny” things, when my sibling found out I was doing these investments, my sibling actually asked me for a cut of my profits — but doesn’t want to contribute any funding or research/knowledge. My sibling’s idea is that I should fork out several hundred dollars out of my own pocket, invest on my sibling’s behalf, and then actually give cash payments to my sibling directly on the profits made. Isn’t that “funny”? And my sibling acted as though I was insulting my sibling when I didn’t want to do it.

I don’t understand something…

I don’t understand something…or maybe I do. Many people are assholes.

I work in an afternoon school. Despite my busy schedule, I had to exert some extra effort to make it to afternoon school every Monday. I make sure that those in charge understand this. Yet, I rarely get a proper thank-you.

Mind you, I don’t need the extra income. I’m there to help out. In fact, I made $1,961 in my smart sports investments today alone. My boss wanted to discuss this with me today, but he ended up having meetings with clients and talking to other staff. He didn’t spend much time interacting with me. Why? I’m sure that the meetings are important, but then talking to other staff instead of me?

Again, I don’t need the extra income from the school. Today, as mentioned, I made $1,961 in my smart investments. Two days earlier (Saturday), I made $2,304 in my smart investments. Three days earlier (Friday), I made $993 in my smart investments. Over the past month, I have had way more days of profits than losses (by a 2-to-1 ratio).

I did some hockey broadcasting during the fall and winter. I have written several books. I make extra effort to help out at the school. Yet, people around prefer engaging in meaningless gossip and conversations instead of wanting to talk to me.

And in fact, today there was a visitor to the school whom we all know. She said no more than 10 words to me in greeting me and saying goodbye. Yet, she had a lot of things to say to another teacher there. Oh, okay.

And there was also something wrong with my scheduling that I wasn’t informed about today — something that at least one staff member knew — but I wasn’t informed. And they’re busy chitchatting amongst themselves, etc. etc. etc.

Fine, don’t talk to me.

This just goes to show that people are assholes. These words are here to stay. Whatever I type here, these are my experiences and what I encountered. I don’t delete any of this stuff.

All I can say is that people are assholes.

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