I didn’t use to like talking, but…
There’s a quote someone once said that resonates with me. It goes along the lines of “Be careful of those that clap when you lose.”
Conversely, I would say be careful of those who don’t clap when you win.
When I was younger, I was very quite and didn’t like to talk. It’s because I was shy. Having grown up, I realize that not everybody who doesn’t talk is shy. It’s just that they don’t want to talk to you.
Someone could ask me what I’m working on, which, to me, is an invitation for me to actually discuss it. But the same person who then interrupts before I’m even done talking about it, is akin to the people who don’t clap when you win. I always find it fascinating that people might be so interested in how celebrities are doing but couldn’t give you the time of day. That, to me, tells me I shouldn’t respond to them either.
We could be standing on the side of the road waiting for a mutual friend, and I would be trying to make conversation — but it’s clear the fella’s more interested in his cigarette. Naturally, when our mutual friend does arrive, Mr. Cigarette suddenly is chatty. That’s fine. I get it.
Or, it could be a case where another fella wants to talk, but doesn’t seem to care even if he’s told the same story multiple times. I cordially say I’ve heard that one already – but the guy insists on continuing. Of course, when I do share my story, the same fella cuts me off and says he’s heard that before. Or that he has heard enough of the story to know what the ending’s going to be, and doesn’t want to hear anymore. Okay. Good to know.
Someone could ask me to reach out if I ever had a problem, and then when I do take the same person up for the offer, I become persona non grata. It’s like, people say “Call me if you need anything” just for the sake of saying it or making him/herself look good, but may not actually mean it. I very rarely, if ever, share what’s on my mind (when it comes to challenges in life), so if I do share something, it means it’s something I’d like assistance with.
What’s worse, there are those who do want to listen — but there’s an end game for them. I’ll be offered a service to solve my problems — at a hefty price. Uhm, no thanks. I can figure things out on my own instead of forking out $750 (I’m not kidding) for you to research the answer and give it to me at a later date. The irony is I’m told the person has expertise in that particular area — and yet needs to spend that much time to research the info and give it to me.
But it’s okay. You just learn whom to cut ties with and whom to lean on. You just learn to cut ties with those who give negative vibes, those who, essentially, regard you as persona non grata.